Prison for the elderly

There are always alternative ways to solve any problem. Since there are folks in congress who want to slash or perhaps eliminate Medicare and Social Security, the elderly, unhealthy and soon to be both are concerned about their futures. Will they be left with no income or health care?

Of course not. They simply need to think outside the box and ask themselves, "Where can I get a roof over my head, three squares a day and total medical for free?"  The simple answer is prison.

So, when congress finally drives the last nail into the coffin of programs for seniors, each of these elderly and probably not terribly healthy people should spend their last government check on a small hand gun. No need to even invest in bullets, as none will be needed. Then they need to tie handkerchiefs around their faces, mostly to make it look authentic. Then walk into a bank, produce the gun and demand the money.

Now, the average senior doesn't move all that fast so before they can get a block down the street, the police will all over them. Gun and cash in hand, the old folks will just have to confess. After a short trial, an armed robbery conviction should net somewhere around 15 years, so if one is 75, that's pretty much security for life.

Naturally, the prison system isn't going to take a frail senior citizen and subject him or her to hard labor. More likely, incarceration will involve a comfortable cell, passable meals and medical care on demand. All in all, not a bad retirement plan.