Dominique Strauss-Kahn arrested

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the head of the IMF, the most powerful boys' financial fraternity on the planet, gets himself arrested for sexually molesting a chambermaid. OMG, how shocking. I mean, what normal man would do a thing like that, particularly an aging power broker used to getting his own way? Seriously, folks, can you name one other powerful man who has put it all at risk to jump the bones of some stressed out, overworked young woman. After all, these guys are paragons, people we trust to buy and sell whole counties and enrich or ruin millions of people.

This incident so unraveled my male self-esteem that I had to know the truth of it, so I bribed a guard and slipped into his cell. At first he wasn't talking, but after I slipped him a bottle of pernod, he opened up. "Look, I may be one of the most important, most powerful, smartest, best dressed, most well connected guys who ever lived, but, just between you and I, deep inside, I'm just Joe six pack.