custom conspiracy theories for nut case fringe grp.

Filling imaginary needs has been the key to the Eclectic Press business plan. Recently we've identified a definite psuedo-need in our society, and we are rushing eagerly in to fill it. In addition to our other questionable services, we're introducing something new, something your organization could profit from.

Are you a member of a nut case fringe group? If so, is your group small and unsuccessful? It's probably because you don't have a good conspiracy theory. Every highly respected nut case fringe group has a conspiracy theory that captures the imagination and brings in those nut cases who are desperate to belong. And remember, more members mean more dues, so the money you invest will be returned many times over.

Eclectic Press will custom-make a conspiracy theory that fits your group's unique brand of paranoia. Here's a brief outline of a scenario we put together for one successful client. "The American Dental Association has been taken over by aliens from outer space, who have snatched the bodies of member dentists. Now, the amalgam they put into your teeth contain miniature transceivers, controlled by the aliens. After everyone has a filling, the aliens will turn humanity into robot worker who will

assemble useless merchandise for the galactic black market. "

The organization that purchased this conspiracy theory increased their membership from 7 to over 100. We can do the same for you. All you need to do is provide us with some basic information on your group and give us cash. We don't take checks from nut case fringe groups.

Now, we can't promise to make you as successful as America's two biggest nut case groups, the Democratic and the Republican parties. These groups attained mainstream status without losing their quirky, nutty roots through decades of constructing complex and convoluted conspiracy theories. While this level of sophistication takes generations, one of our basic theories should be enough to let you become at least a minor religion.

Just log on to www.baymoon.com/~eclecticpress. Remember that if you're nutty enough to think you need a conspiracy theory, you're nutty enough to pay us money for it.